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 The Hike NH Joke Section 
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Flatfoot
Flatfoot

Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2017 3:32 am
Posts: 16
Location: Tampa, Florida
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 The Hike NH Joke Section
Hi, everyone! I created this section for us to share a few full-hearted laughs, something to brighten up the day when the trail has been rough or you just needed something that would put a smile on your face. Feel free to share your own jokes or humorous stories as well.

Let me start this up with a few jokes I overheard from some of my hiking buddies:

A guy throws open his front door and yells to his wife, “Honey, pack your bags, I just won the lottery!”

His wife emerges from the kitchen and screams, “Oh my god, that’s incredible! Should I pack for the beach or should I pack for the mountains?”

The husband replies, “I don’t care. Just get out!”


Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:21 am
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Flatfoot
Flatfoot

Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2017 3:32 am
Posts: 16
Location: Tampa, Florida
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 Re: The Hike NH Joke Section
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the referee was blowing fouls.


Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:23 am
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Flatfoot
Flatfoot

Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2017 3:32 am
Posts: 16
Location: Tampa, Florida
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 Re: The Hike NH Joke Section
What do you call two melons who can’t be married?

A Cantaloupe.


Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:24 am
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Flatfoot
Flatfoot

Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2017 3:32 am
Posts: 16
Location: Tampa, Florida
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 Re: The Hike NH Joke Section
Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell down a well?

Neither did she.


Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:26 am
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Flatfoot
Flatfoot

Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2017 3:43 am
Posts: 1
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 Re: The Hike NH Joke Section
Today… I did seven press ups: not in a row.

_________________
Know what, I'm one of the best gamblers in my town. I'm sure there's no one like me around. I'm looking for unibet casino app to play on the move. You'd better try it too.


Mon Oct 16, 2017 3:45 am
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Flatfoot
Flatfoot

Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2017 3:32 am
Posts: 16
Location: Tampa, Florida
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 Re: The Hike NH Joke Section
David Wheeler wrote:
Today… I did seven press ups: not in a row.


Lol! :lol: Just keep 'em coming, David.


Mon Oct 16, 2017 4:02 am
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Flatfoot
Flatfoot

Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2017 3:32 am
Posts: 16
Location: Tampa, Florida
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 Re: The Hike NH Joke Section
A man comes home after a terrible round of golf, his worst ever. He plops down on the couch in front of the television and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it starts.” She looks cross but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.”

The wife is furious. She yells at him, “You’ve been out golfing all day! Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore...”

The man sighs and says, “It’s started...”


Mon Oct 16, 2017 4:09 am
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Flatfoot
Flatfoot

Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2017 3:32 am
Posts: 16
Location: Tampa, Florida
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 Re: The Hike NH Joke Section
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a vacation."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."


Mon Oct 16, 2017 4:12 am
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Flatfoot
Flatfoot

Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2017 3:32 am
Posts: 16
Location: Tampa, Florida
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 Re: The Hike NH Joke Section
My wife asked me why I don’t play golf with Patrick anymore.

So I asked her, “Would you continue to play with a guy who always gets drunk, loses so many balls other groups are always playing through, tells lousy jokes while you are trying to putt, and generally offends everyone around him on the course?”

“Certainly not, dear,” she replied.

“Well, neither would he.”


Mon Oct 16, 2017 4:13 am
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Sovereign Woodsman

Joined: Sat Jul 28, 2012 2:40 pm
Posts: 1663
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 Re: The Hike NH Joke Section
At the risk of getting deleted for being bad :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: ....

A guy planned a weekend backpacking trip. Right before he left, hypothermia weather set in; sleet, cold, damp, etc. Saying goodbye to his wife, he decided to go anyway. When he began, he realized the weather was too bad. So he got home late at night, stripped off his wet clothes and crawled into bed. His wife woke up and said, "Can you believe my idiot husband is out backpacking in this weather!!!"

Not an original, I found this gem on Views from the Top. They had a joke thread a while back.


Fri Oct 20, 2017 8:38 pm
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Sovereign Woodsman
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Joined: Sat Sep 05, 2009 7:35 pm
Posts: 2763
Location: south of the notches
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 Re: The Hike NH Joke Section
There is a blonde on one side of the river, a brunette on the opposite shore. The brunette shouts to the blonde: "Hey! How do I get to the other side?" The blonde shouts back: "You ARE on the other side."

HA HA HA HA. You decide who's the dumb one. :lol:

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Life is a trip ~ pack accordingly


Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:34 pm
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Flatfoot
Flatfoot

Joined: Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:08 am
Posts: 3
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 Re: The Hike NH Joke Section
JoshKeys wrote:
What do you call two melons who can’t be married?

A Cantaloupe.



HAHAHAHAHA Yasss! :beer:


Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:11 am
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